


Even If the Skies Get Rough

by ChelleLeigh1917



Category: The White Queen (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2018-10-25 23:33:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10774788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChelleLeigh1917/pseuds/ChelleLeigh1917
Summary: Anne stared down at the letter she'd just placed on her desk. Her name, written in Richard's handwriting, turning it over, she could see it was sealed by his private signet.  Clearly, he'd written this himself, not dictated it to a scribe. It was identical to the letters he'd written since she'd returned to Middleham.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based upon the BBC/Starz series "The White Queen.", and is an alternative version of the BBC version of episode 10. 
> 
> Anne is alive, and has left court to return to Middleham after the death of their son, Edward of Middleham. This story will be a few chapters long, right now I am thinking 5-6, and will include what happens post the Battle of Bosworth Field.

Anne stared down at the letter she'd just placed on her desk. Her name, written in Richard's handwriting, turning it over, she could see it was sealed by his private signet. Clearly, he'd written this himself, not dictated it to a scribe. It was identical to the letters he'd written since she'd returned to Middleham. She opened the small chest, and placed the letter inside, unopened, just like every other private letter Richard had sent during the last few months. 

It had been much too difficult to stay in London, at court, after her beloved Ned had died. It had been too much to stay and watch Richard play his game with Elizabeth. Too much to stay and watch her husband court another woman. Too much to stay and watch him pretend to fall in love with another woman. 

Or was it a pretense? That was what had haunted her. It was the question to which she did not know the answer, and truthfully, she was not certain she wanted to know. Was it cowardice? Perhaps it was, deep down Anne believed it was. But if Richard was falling for another woman, she did not want to know. 

She turned her attention to the other letter which had been delivered that morning. Again this had Richard's handwriting on it, but the seal, it was not his private seal, but his official seal. Turning it over, she broke the wax, yet she still did not start to read. Anne was quite uncertain what she would find inside. She knew Richard was at Nottingham, waiting news of the landing of Tudor's invasion fleet. She took a deep breath, as she opened it. 

Anne was unsurprised to find the letter had actually been written by a scribe. It was only to officially inform her that the Lady Elizabeth Rivers and Lady Cecily Rivers were to be sent to Middleham to remain until after the Tudor invader had been defeated. 

Anne stared at the letter in complete shock. Had Richard completely lost his mind? He was sending Elizabeth to Middleham, to her. It was mind boggling. She could not understand how Richard could believe this was a good idea. She did not want the girl there, did not want to be anywhere near the girl. Did he not realize that? Did he not realize that was a large portion of the reason she had left court? 

There was nothing she could do about it though, that much Anne knew for certain. She could not stop this, for it was likely Richard had already sent the two girls on their way north. No, she would have to prepare Middleham for their visit. 

She would not have to like it though. 

~~

 

Anne stepped into her mother's chambers and looked around. There had been times in her life when Anne had never thought she would be glad of her mother's presence. However, those times had long since passed. In the aftermath of Isabel's death, they had grown closer, and since returning to Middleham, Anne had found herself quite grateful for her mother's presence. 

The Countess of Warwick, watched as her daughter poured a glass of wine. Anne had still not said a single word since entering the chambers. Of course, the Countess, knew something was bothering her daughter. But she would give her time, Anne would only speak of it when she was ready. 

Anne swirled the wine in her goblet. Her thoughts were still in turmoil, uncertain what to think about the letters she'd received that morning. She took a deep breath, and finally spoke. 

“I do believe he has finally lost his mind.” 

“Who?” The Countess asked. She very knew Anne referred to Richard, but how Anne referred to him would tell her much about her daughter's state of mind.

“My husband.” 

Well, that was a new one. Usually Anne referred to Richard by name or as “The King.” “How so?” She asked. 

Anne laughed, there was perhaps a touch of bitterness in her laugh. “He has decided to send Lady Elizabeth and Lady Cecily to stay with us here at Middleham, until everything is over.”

There were few things that would have shocked Anne Beauchamp, but this was one of them. “He is sending the Rivers girls to Middleham?” She asked, surely that was not what she'd heard Anne say. 

“Yes.” Anne said tersely, before taking a sip of her wine. “You know, it truly is ingenious, if you think about it for a moment.”

The Countess was certain her eyebrows must have reached her hairline when Anne spoke. “Ingenious? How so?”

“Think about it for a moment, Mother. He sends Elizabeth to me, it can be argued that it clearly shows nothing happened with them, especially if...especially if Richard loses and Tudor is victorious.” 

“And if Richard is victorious, then you stay quiet about any suspicions you may have, and in return he allows you to keep Middleham, and your fortune.” 

Anne laughed softly. “I've told you that you worry too much about that, Mother. The parliamentary decree stated that Richard could only keep my lands if he divorced me, and did not remarry. The moment he remarries, he no longer has the lands.”

“And he is King now....”

“And I can just hear him saying we are a country of laws, and even the king must obey those laws. It would take another Act of Parliament to change it, and I doubt he wants to take the time for that.” 

“I pray you are correct.”

“Mother, I know him....” Anne broke off, it would be more truthful to say she'd known Richard. This man, she didn't recognize him anymore, had not recognized him since shortly after they'd taken the throne, and certainly did not recognize him in the aftermath of their boy's death. No, the things he had done, those were things her Richard could never have done. 

~~

Anne pushed the covers back, and got out of bed. The nights were always the worst. She'd never truly had many problems sleeping before. But since they'd gone on a royal progress after the coronation, Anne always had problems sleeping. When she and Richard had shared a bed, it had been so much easier. She would just lie there, careful not to disturb his sleep, usually she would find herself lulled back to sleep. But now that she was alone, it was so much more difficult.

Her ability to sleep had grown worse since Richard's letter had arrived, and it was no surprise to her that she could not sleep this night. The girls had arrived that morning. She'd greeted them in the Great Hall, dressed every inch like the Queen that she was. That had been her armor, the fine dress, the headdress, the jewelry, all of it had been impressive. Yet it had also been hollow, for what was she now, but a barren queen, who would be replaced once her husband had fought and won the battle for his crown. 

Both of the girls had been respectful to her, especially Elizabeth, yet Anne could not deny the questions in her mind, the images in her mind. She kept seeing Richard and Elizabeth kissing the night of Ned's funeral, the moment neither of them knew she had observed, the moment which had necessitated her flight from Westminster. 

She couldn't help but wonder if there had been more in the months that had passed since she'd left. Had it gone further than a kiss, Anne had always thought she did not want to know. She still was uncertain if she wanted to know the entire truth. 

She picked up the rosary from the table, it was one of Richard's, and she still was uncertain how it had been left here when the moved to London. In the scant moments they'd discussed Richard, Anne had noticed one truth in the girl's eyes, she too loved him. 

Anne found herself quietly praying Richard would return victorious from this battle to the women who loved him. Both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Anne was out riding when the messenger arrived. She'd been more than a little shocked to arrive home, and find another letter from Richard. After all, there had been a pattern to the letters, he'd only sent them once or twice a month. But this one, it had been sent early. 

Also, there was no letter with his private, personal seal, only one letter with his official seal. 

She turned the letter over in her hands, her name was written in his handwriting, not that of his scribe, yet the seal was the official one. She debated with herself whether to open it, or to place it in the coffer with the other letters. In the end, Anne decided to open it, after all it could be something important. 

_My dearest Queen,_

_I have written faithfully to you since you decided to return to Middleham, yet I have received no reply. This is not meant as a reproach to you, only an observation. I do not know if you have read my earlier letters or not. Knowing you, as I do, it is my suspicion that you have not read a single one of them._

_Today, I have received word that Tudor has landed in Wales. Tomorrow, I will leave Nottingham to face my destiny. I find myself eager to face the bastard, and have this over with once and for all._

_While I have every confidence that I will emerge victorious from this endeavor, I would be remiss in my duties as both your King and your husband, if I did not acknowledge the chance that I will not be victorious._

_While my preference would be for you to either take sanctuary or flee to my sister Margaret in Burgundy, again I know you well enough to suppose you will wish to stay and fight for what is yours. If it comes to that, please know that my will stipulates that all of my personal holdings are yours upon my death._

_There is much I wish to say to you, however most of it I would prefer to say in person._

_I only ask that you pray for my success._

_Richard_

 

Anne took a deep breath, as she sat the letter down on the desk. She glanced at the coffer for a moment, but did not move to open it. 

She'd never received such a cold letter from Richard before, and if the other letters had such a tone, she did not wish to read them. 

~~

Anne Beauchamp had become concerned when her daughter had not come down for dinner as she usually did. She knocked on the door to Anne's chambers, and when she did not receive a reply, she opened the door and went inside. 

She was not certain what she'd expected to find, but Anne lying on the bed was not what she expected. 

“Anne?” She asked as she reached the bed. 

“I am fine.” Came Anne's muffled reply. 

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

Anne Beauchamp had never been the most maternal of mothers. She'd never truly been the one her daughter had turned to for comfort. When she'd been a girl, Anne had always turned to her father for comfort, and as a married woman, she'd always turned to Richard. Nevertheless, she started to stroke her daughter's hair. She glanced around and noticed the letter, which was next to Anne on the bed. 

“You can read it, if you want.” 

Anne Beauchamp, leaned over and picked the letter up, and quietly read it. “We both knew this day would come.” She said quietly once she'd finished. 

“That Tudor would come?” Anne turned a little to face her mother. “Yes, that is true.”

“I sense that is not what is bothering you.” 

Anne laughed softly. “He's never been so cold.” Her words were barely audible, almost as if she did not wish to say them. “It's ironic, I left, I've not read or responded to any letter he's sent me, I finally read one, and I'm upset because he seems cold.” 

Anne Beauchamp was silent, letting her daughter speak. She'd been expecting this to happen, for Anne to finally break. She was not a fool, she realized, even if Anne was not entirely conscious of it all the time, that Anne still loved Richard deeply, and truthfully likely always would. 

“You cannot control what you feel, Anne.” She said softly, still stroking Anne's hair. 

“I know.” Anne murmured. “If I could control what I felt, I would have never left court.” 

Anne Beauchamp could not help the slight laugh that escaped at her daughter's words. “No, you would not have.” 

“I want to scream and shout in rage, I want...” 

“You want Richard to feel what you have felt for the last year.” 

“Yes.” She nodded. 

“Are you going to pray for him?”

Anne took a deep breath, and sat up. She ran her fingers through her hair for a moment before answering. “Of course.” She nodded. “I do not wish...” She couldn't even say that she did not wish Richard dead. “I honestly believe Richard is a better king than Tudor could ever be.” 

~~

Anne was often in the chapel during the next few days. She spent much time in prayer and supplication for Richard to be victorious. She was in the chapel when the next messenger arrived. She couldn't stop the trembling of her hands, as she opened the letter. 

She fell to her knees after reading it. The battle was over, Richard had won. Once he had tied up matters in Leicester, he would come to Middleham to speak with her. 

She would soon see him for the first time in over a year, and Anne was quite uncertain how she felt about it. Yes, there was some trepidation at the idea of seeing Richard again, but there was also something else too, something she wasn't certain she could either name or truly understand. 

It would all be over soon, and she would know exactly what her fate was to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not at all how I planned for this chapter to be when I started writing it. Originally, it was to begin with Richard, in his tent, the night before Bosworth, writing a letter to Anne. But as I tried to write, it was just not working correctly for me. This did work for me though. 
> 
> Richard will appear in the next chapter, needless to say, he and Anne will have a lot to talk about.


	3. Chapter 3

He was close to home now. The scenery grew more familiar with every mile. There was a part of him that wished to spur his horse onward, to quickly cover the few remaining miles to Middleham, but Richard was reluctant to give in to that part of him. In the past, he'd always given in to it, certain of the greeting that would await him upon his arrival home. He would know Anne would run out to the courtyard to greet him, and not caring for an instant that they were surrounded by people would kiss him. There would be a warm bath awaiting him in their chambers to wash the dust of travel from him. Anne would dismiss his squires, and sit near the tub as they talked. Usually, he would be able to coax her into the tub with him, and enjoy much more than talking. 

Today, he did not know. Today, he was a king returning after a victorious battle for his throne, and he had no idea how his queen would greet him. Would it be with elation and joy to celebrate his survival, or would it be with a cold, bottomless accusing stare. 

He took a deep breath, and spurred his horse onward, there was no point in putting off the inevitable; whatever it may be. 

~~

Anne had not gone out into the courtyard to greet him. She stayed awake almost the entire night thinking about how to greet Richard, and she just could not go out and pretend everything was normal between them. It was not. Instead, she waited in the Great Hall for him. 

As he walked into the Great Hall, she watched him closely, trying to ascertain for herself if he'd been injured in the battle. She could not be certain. His gait seemed normal, if a little stiff. However, that could be because of all the time he'd spent in the saddle lately. Riding for long distances was bothering him more, and more, and of course like the stubborn man he was, Richard would not admit it. 

As he approached her, Anne immediately sank down into a curtsey. She was not surprised when Richard held his hand out to help her up. “My lord...” She said softly, as she stood. She almost said, welcome to Middleham, but that would have been all wrong, after all it was his home just as much as it was hers. “Welcome home.” She said softly. 

“My lady.” He said softly, as he raised her hand up to kiss it. He was a little surprised to feel a slight tremor in her hand as he did so. 

Anne smiled just a little. “You will find a warm bath awaiting you in your chambers.” She said softly. 

He nodded. “And I thank you for that. Perhaps you will join me, in an hour or so? I believe we have much to discuss.” 

“As you wish.” Anne nodded. 

~~

When Anne walked into Richard's chambers, he was sitting in a chair near one of the windows, his head tilted back as his squire shaved him. 

“I suppose it took you longer to bathe that you suspected.” Anne said softly, as she sat in the window seat. 

“The water was warm, relaxing, I was reluctant to get out.” He replied. 

“Why does that not surprise me at all?” Anne laughed, turning to look out the window for a moment. She knew they were just making small talk until the squire left. It was so strange, yet so familiar too. 

“I would have no idea.” He murmured. 

Anne turned swiftly, at the sound of his voice, and looked at him. Seeing the small smirk on his face, she wanted nothing more than to throw the pillow at him. Yet, she decided against it. After all, his squire had not left yet. 

Richard could feel Anne staring at him, as he looked up and met her eyes, it was as if the energy in the room changed. As the squire finished shaving him, Richard quietly dismissed him. 

The door closed behind the squire, and both Richard and Anne realized they were utterly alone, for the first time since the day they had buried their son. 

Richard stood after a moment. “Would you like some wine?” He moved to the table and poured himself a glass. 

“Please.” Anne replied, after a moment. She watched him as he walked towards her. “You were not injured?” She asked, as he handed her the wine. 

“Not really.” He shrugged. 

“Not really?” She asked

Again, he shrugged. “Cuts and bruises, that is all.” 

“An answer to prayer, then.” She said softly. 

He knelt in front of her. “You prayed for my victory?”

“Of course, I did!” Anne exclaimed. “You act as if it surprises you!”

He took a deep breath, Richard was trying so hard to not be angry with Anne, had been trying to not be angry with her for months. “I've had no idea of what you thought or felt for months. It did not seem impossible to me that you would hope for my defeat.” 

Anne leaned back, closing her eyes. She could not, would not admit how much his words hurt. “I would never wish for that!” She cried out defensively. 

He sighed softly, as he stood. “It was my prayer that you did not, but...” He shrugged, as he moved away from her. 

Anne opened her eyes, and watched as he walked across the chamber. “What have we done to each other?” She'd not intended to say the words out loud, and was a little shocked when Richard turned around to look at her. 

“I wish to God I knew the answer to that.” He looked directly at her. “But you left without...saying anything. I thought you needed space after Edward...”

“Is that all you remember from that time? Edward's death?” Anne asked. 

“What do you....”

She took a deep breath, she wanted to scream at him, to ask if he was kidding, how could he not remember. “You've forgotten how you planned to break Tudor's support by making it seem Elizabeth was your mistress.” 

“No.” 

“Then how can you question why I left?” 

“Anne...” 

She quickly stood. “No.” She shook her head. “If you're going to try to excuse your actions, then I can't...”

He took a deep breath, still trying to hold his temper to not lose it completely with her. Nothing was going as he'd envisioned it. “Have you read the letters?”

“No.” She replied. 

“Read the damn letters, Anne. They will tell you exactly how I've felt the last year.” 

Anne stared at him for a long moment, before turning and leaving for her own chambers without saying a word. 

~~

Anne pushed the covers off, and sat up in her bed. She could not sleep. She kept going over the earlier conversation with Richard in her mind. Was it even possible that he'd come to his senses? She had no idea? Truthfully, she was afraid to know the answer, afraid to hope that he had. She'd convinced herself that their marriage was over, that they were over, that he no longer loved her. Yes, it had hurt, it had hurt like hell quite honestly, but given everything, it had been the only thing that made sense. It had been the only way she could go on with her life. But now, she wasn't as certain. 

She lit the candles on her candelabra, and sat down at her desk, after pouring herself a glass of wine. She opened the chest and poured the letters out on the desk. She'd long ago lost count of how many letters Richard had sent. She picked up the very first one she'd received, and opened it. 

_My dearest Anne..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I have ended the chapter here on purpose. Richard has written multiple letters to Anne, so there's no way I would write the text of all of them. There will be excerpts of a few of them in the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

_My dearest Anne..._

_~~_

_I imagine you are barely out of London now, yet I find the need to write to you, actually it's more the need to talk to you._

_I'm not certain why you have left. Not entirely certain at the least. Losing our boy hurts me greatly too. I want so much to comfort you._

_~~_

_I imagine you have arrived at Middleham by now, perhaps I will start sending you these letters. After all, I did not want them to be waiting on your arrival._

_~~_

_Six months. It has been six months since you left London, six months since our boy died. Six months since I heard your voice, longer than that since I last saw you smile or laugh._

_The truth is, I miss you. There, I've said it, I've put it to paper._

_~~_

_Did you see the eclipse at Middleham? I'm certain you probably did, so many rumors circulating about it, so much foolishness._

_After all, it is not a sign that York is descending and Tudor is ascending. It is not._

_~~_

_In the morning, I will depart from Nottingham to face Tudor. If I should fall in battle, there is one thing I want you to know to be true._

_You are the only woman I have ever loved._

_~~_

Anne wiped her eyes. She wasn't certain exactly when she'd started to cry. Perhaps it was while reading the first letter, yes she could remember tears filling her eyes then, but she wasn't certain they had escaped her eyes at that point. Perhaps, it was during the third letter, that one had certainly made her stop and think. She remembered filling the moisture on her cheeks while reading the letter where Richard had poignantly plead with her to write back. Those words were echoing in her mind even now. His determination to continue writing was making her question things she knew very well to be true, things she'd beheld with her own eyes. 

She remembered very well what she saw the night before she left Westminster. She knew she saw Richard and Elizabeth kissing. There was not a single doubt in her mind about that. But had it been just a single instance, a mistake? That was what she did not know, would not know until she asked Richard. 

She was still not entirely certain she wanted to know the answer though, especially if the answer was there had been more than just that one kiss. That kiss, she could handle it, she'd already processed through it, remembered that in her grief, she'd rejected him. Not that she found that truly to be an excuse for the kiss, but it was as good of an explanation as any she could find. She could live with that explanation. 

She'd long believed she'd been a fortunate woman in her marriage. After all, Richard had never once raised a hand to her, had never acted like he was tempted to do so. He'd never forced marital relations upon her. She knew there had been times when he'd desired such relations and she had not. She'd been secure in his love for so many years. Perhaps that's why it had been so shocking to her when he'd started to pull away. She'd never had to work for his love, it had always been there. 

After reading the letters, she realized his love was still there, if she wanted it. 

The only question in her mind was could she accept his love, given everything that she knew. Or should she find a way to make him realize that letting her go was the right thing for the King of England to do. 

She simply did not know.

~~

She'd not left her chambers that day. There had been too much on her mind after reading Richard's letters. She'd put off seeing him for as long as she possibly could. She'd partially expected he might come to her, but by evening, she could tell that would not be the case. So she would have to go to him. 

Anne sent word to Richard that she would like to talk with him privately. It took no time for him to reply that she could attend him in his chambers. She almost hated the formality of it, especially as they were here at Middleham, but as she was not entirely certain of the reception she would receive, she'd gone through the formality of requesting to speak with him. 

She was not at all surprised to find him sitting at his desk, in his chambers. In better days, there had been times she'd run her fingers through his hair when finding him like this, distract him away from his work for a moment. She'd not done it often, after all Richard had always been diligent in his duties, and therefore it had always been difficult to distract him. But it had been often enough. 

“I did not realize you were still working.” She said softly. 

He looked up for a moment. “Alas, it seems my work is never done.”

“What is it now?”

“Writs of attainder.” 

“Whose?”

“The Stanley brothers.” Richard answered, as he looked up at her. 

Anne raised her eyebrows. “Really...what happened?”

Richard sat his quill in the inkstand. “It truly shouldn't be too much of a surprise, they came out in support of Tudor, in the midst of the battle...”

Anne could not help but gasp at that news. “And you...”

“Northumberland held for me.” 

Anne was silent for a moment. “It is a strange thing to feel gratitude to a Percy.”

Richard burst out laughing. “I imagine it is.” After a moment, and a shared smile between them, he quieted. “I doubt you came here to talk about the Stanleys and Northumberland.”

“No, I didn't.” Anne nodded. “I read the letters last night.”

“Thank you.” He murmured. 

Anne nodded. “I think we need to talk about why I left.” She said softly, perhaps a little uncertainly. 

“I've tried, and tried to think of why you left, Ned's death...I know it was...”

“I saw you and Elizabeth kissing that night.”

He looked up sharply, almost certain that Anne could hear his heart beating. “That was...a momentary weakness, and it should not have happened.”

Anne took a deep breath. There was no subterfuge apparent in his words, and she knew he had no idea how much she needed to hear those words. “Did it ever happen again?”

“No.” He replied immediately. 

Anne nodded. “Why did you send Elizabeth here?”

“As much as I did not like to think of it, there was always the possibility I would lose, and if that happened, then Tudor would have been king, he would have married Elizabeth. I did hope that sending Elizabeth to Middleham would make it clear that there had been nothing between us. Of course, I think it's possible those rumors originated with Tudor to begin with.” 

Anne nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Why did you...why did you come in search of me that night?”

Anne gave him a slight smile. “I discovered I didn't want to be alone.” 

Richard was silent for a moment. “Do you remember what you said that night?”

“I accused you of something I know you were incapable of doing.” She softly replied. “That will always be one of my biggest regrets.” 

Richard nodded. “It was Margaret Beaufort, you know.”

“W-what?!” Anne cried. 

“Margaret Beaufort had my nephews murdered.”

“How did you find that out?” 

“Stanley revealed it during interrogation.”

“Well then...” Anne was not certain why this shocked her so much. She looked up. “That is why you were agonizing over the writs of attainder, one is for her.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Will you execute her?” She asked, remembering his promise. 

“I do not know.” He said softly. “She is...well, can you truly execute a woman? I do not know.”

After a moment, Anne nodded. It did not surprise her that he would think he could not. “That is something you will have to decide, and make your peace with.”

“I want you to come home.” He said softly, after several moments of silence. 

Anne looked up. “Richard...”

“It is time.” He said softly. “The threat from Tudor is over, we can...begin our reign anew.”

“You don't see it, do you?” She said softly. “One thing that I said on that night, is still true. I've not conceived since Ned.” 

“That does not mean you will not...”

She shook her head. “The Duke of Gloucester had the luxury to love a barren woman, the King of England does not. You must have an heir.” 

She was startled when Richard advanced to her, even more startled when he pulled her against him, and kissed her deeply. For a moment, her fists were against his chest, not because she did not want him, nothing could have been further from the truth. She still wanted him as much as she always had. The feel of his arms around her, his body against her, awakened feelings long dormant in her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands tangling in his hair. 

For this night, she would not think about the future, and what it may or not bring. For this night, she would lie with him for the first time in well over a year. She would remember how it felt to be loved by him. 

Then she would face whatever the morning sun brought.


	5. Chapter 5

~~

His arm lay across her, and Anne knew without a doubt that Richard still slept. She'd not opened her eyes yet, was not ready to open her eyes. There was too much on her mind, too much she would have to face once her eyes were open. 

The night had been one of the most passionate of their marriage, of that Anne had no doubt. She no longer held any doubts that he loved her. He'd certainly said it enough during the night, had certainly shown her enough during the night. There was not a single doubt her in mind that she still loved him too. She'd always known it, yet had been loathe to admit it. 

Yet her concerns still existed. She still had no reason to doubt that she was barren. After all, she'd not conceived in years, not since Ned. Why would she think she had conceived again? 

Anne knew what she should do, that she should let Richard go, somehow convince him it was for the best. Yet, she knew the words would ring hollow, that she would be unable to bring herself to say them, unable to make him believe it was for the best. 

Was it selfish of her? Perhaps, it was. In truth, she was not entirely convinced it was not. Yet, he had survived the battle, had returned for her of his own volition, if it was selfish to want to be with him again, then she would live with that selfishness. 

“I know you are awake.” Richard's low murmur interrupted her thoughts. 

“How long have you know?” Anne asked, still not opening her eyes. 

“A bit.” He replied. “I could tell by your breathing.”

“I don't believe I am ready to face the day.” Anne murmured. 

“Why ever not?” Richard asked softly. 

Anne took a deep breath. “I told myself last night that I would lie with you again, remember how it felt to be loved by you, and then face whatever the morning brought. Yet now, I find myself knowing, in my heart, that I am not brave enough to do what my mind says I should do.” 

“And what does your mind say?” Richard said softly. 

It was several moments before Anne answered. “My mind says there's no reason for me to think I conceived last night, and I should convince you the wisest action is to let me go.” 

“And your heart, Anne, what does it say?” Richard's voice was barely audible, as if he feared what she would answer. 

“My heart...” Anne started to say, then she turned so she could look at him for a moment. “My heart believes whatever I would say would be hollow and empty.” She sighed softly, as Richard started to stroke her side. “If I could even bring myself to say those words, I know I would have little chance of convincing you of the truth in them.” 

“You would have no chance.” 

“My brain believes I should at least try.” Anne slipped her hand into his. 

Richard squeezed her hand tightly. “And your heart?”

“My heart belongs to you.” Anne whispered. 

“Then you should listen to your heart.” He said softly, as he gently stroked her cheek with his thumb. 

“I think I will.” Anne turned her head on the pillow to look at him. 

“For that I am glad.” He murmured. 

~~

Anne Beauchamp watched as her daughter paced the chamber. She did not have to be told what was troubling her. After all, she knew very well that Richard had passed the night in her daughter's chamber, which was well and proper as they were married. She knew her daughter was deciding whether she would return to London with him, and she could not help but be slightly amused by her seeming indecision. It was quite plain to her that Anne would return to London. She'd known it since the moment she'd learned Richard was coming to Middleham. 

“Is the decision so difficult?” She asked. 

Anne stopped and turned to look at her mother. “The decision itself...” She shrugged. “In truth it was made long ago. No, I now wonder if I am being weak and if it is truly the right thing to do.” 

“Why would it be wrong for you to go back to London, to resume your marriage?”

Anne sighed very softly. “Mother...” She closed her eyes for a moment before continuing. “Do you truly believe I will have another child?”

Of course she did not know the answer to that. “Tell me, would that worry you so much if Richard were still the Duke of Gloucester?”

“Probably not.” Anne admitted. “But he is not Duke of Gloucester now, he is King of England, and I know he must have a son to follow him on the throne.” 

“What does he say?”

“We haven't exactly discussed it, at least not with words.” Anne laughed as she remembered Richard's response to her the night before. 

“Then perhaps you should.” 

“I know we should, but I think it's easier said than done.” Anne replied. 

~~

She'd been a little surprised when Richard had suggested they go for a ride that afternoon, but she'd happily agreed to it. 

“I must admit I am surprised we are unguarded.” Anne said, as she watched him dismount from his horse. 

“If I am not safe here, then exactly where am I safe?” Richard laughed softly, as he moved to help Anne from her horse. 

She slipped down, easily into his arms. “That is a good point.”

“I brought you here so we could talk. I know you want to.” He said softly, taking her hand, and walking to one of the trees where he spread a blanket for them to sit on.

Anne smiled softly. “It's more of a need than a want, Richard.”

“Of course.” He nodded. 

“And I need you to not interrupt me with passionate kisses this time.” 

“Ah, I'm not certain I remember you complaining.”

“Richard!” She laughed softly and shook her head. 

“Well, you did not.” He said softly.

She sighed softly, as he gently rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “No, I decided to lie with you again and face the consequences later.”

Richard's hand fell to her stomach. “I do hope there are consequences.” He murmured. 

Anne leaned over and kissed his cheek. “And what if there are not consequences.” She said softly. “What if there are never consequences?”

“Then I have nephews to take the throne after me.” He said softly. 

“And will that be enough for you?” She said softly. “You will not mind that it is not a son of your blood who follows you on the throne?”

“It is enough for me.” Richard said softly. “I've given it much more thought than you can imagine.” 

She lay her head against his shoulder. “You are certain. You aren't going to come to resent me if I remain unable to give you a child?”

“You have given me a child. For whatever reason, which neither of us will ever understand, God chose to take our Edward.”

“You didn't truly answer my question, Richard.”

“I could never resent you.” He said softly. “That I promise.” 

Anne took a deep breath and nodded. “Very well.” 

“Then you are returning to London with me.” 

His words had been neither a question nor an order, and for that Anne was grateful. While there was a large part of her that would prefer to stay at Middleham, she knew they could not do that. No, she would have to return to London, and face all the memories there. “Yes.” She said softly.


End file.
